Shelf Life

Watered Down Weather

I truly ire anyone who can comfortably live in a humid climate. I ire even more those who actually like it. After being in temporary scholarly exile on the East Coast for the fourth year in a row, I'm about ready to throw a temper tantrum. See, in Colorado, when there's water in the air, we call it rain. Typically, it falls down. After all, that's what water's supposed to do. None of this... floating in the sky business. Rain in Colorado was a glorious thing, with the cool water streaming from the skies, washing away all worries and troubles. Rain in New England is pouring miserable gobs of wetness in an already muggy sauna. (Don't even get me started on the summer I spent living in Galveston! I wanted to murder things and cook them for supper, I was so depressed.) How do you people do it? How do you stand the mugginess? How do you enjoy basking in moisture? You people are heroes amongst heroes.

Enjoy the slew of shelf worthy titles and welcome to Shelf Life.

ADV Films 75 min. 2/4 $29.98 09/06/2005 This show is amazing, plain and simple. This is the kind of series that all future dramas should aspire to be—suspenseful, edgy, and absolutely gripping. There wasn't a single moment I wasn't waiting in trepidation, wanting to see what happened next, but stupefied in fear for a fictional character's life. TV dramas have been toying around with these kinds of shows for years, and it's about damned time anime stepped up to the plate. When the show left off, Yugo was trying to negotiate with the dacoit sheik, but had to first prove himself as a hero. Every viewer already knows he's going to pull through somehow, but there's absolutely no way of knowing how he'll do it until the second it happens. In shows of this nature, it's far too common for the hero to pull some stunt at the last second and explode in a rage of power and violence, and start kicking people left and right, but Yugo doesn't mess with any of that crap. He uses only his honor, perseverance, confidence, and pure guts, and that makes him more irable than any super agent in the world. The show just wouldn't be the same without him, and it's watching him battle through his trials, suffer through bodily pain, outsmart his enemies, and outsmart the audience that makes the show as ferociously captivating as it is. People always ask me, “If you could recommend only one serious action show to an older teen or adult, what would it be?” Ever since watching the first disc, my answer has always been, without fail, “Master Keaton. While the atmosphere is different and it's much less serious than Yugo, it's still a neat story to go to if you're looking for a show about a dude traveling around the world solving problems. Tastes Like: Bloody steak. Ohh, you know steak is more manly when it's dripping with blood.

Geneon 110 min. 1/1 $29.98 09/13/2005 If someone had shaken me after I watched Memories. Tastes Like: Amarone. Kind of earthy and bittersweet, this wine will please you and confuse you all at the same time.

Planetes DVD 2 Bandai 125 min. 2/? $29.98 08/09/2005 It takes a damned good series to be able to have an entire episode filled with grown men running around pretending to be ninjas be deep and meaningful. It takes a show like Salaryman Kintaro for salarymen... well, on Earth. Tastes Like: Baked potato. Such a commonplace staple of restaurants everywhere, but who doesn't love a good baked potato?

FUNimation 105 min. 2/? $29.98 10/4/2005 If Marmalade Boy. Tastes Like: Fruit by the Foot. Wacky flavors, infantile jokes on every wrapper, but seriously good taste.

Koi Kaze DVD 2- Budding Attraction Geneon 125 min. 2/3 $29.98 05/31/2005 Without a doubt, Kare Kano don't share any familial DNA, but it's still a bittersweet story about romance. Tastes Like: Peas and carrots. They go together surprisingly well, but no one will deny that it tastes kind of funny.

Godannar DVD 1 - Engage & Destroy ADV Films 125 min. 1/7 $29.98 10/04/2005 It's really hard to make an inventive robot show these days, and sadly, Gravion! Tastes Like: Rainbow sprinkles. So many colors, but it all tastes exactly the damned same! Yeah!

Yumeria DVD 1 - Into the Dreamscape ADV Films 100 min. 1/3 $29.98 10/11/2005 It's sad when the best part about a show is seeing a male homeroom teacher dressed as an S&M queen. Luckily, once you realize that you can't take Sister Princess, which can never be a good thing. Tastes Like: Flavored water. Just because it's flavored doesn't make it any less water.

That's it for this week; thanks for reading!